by Elizabeth on September 2, 2010
Lina’s birthday is coming soon and I’m stressing. Every year it’s a chore figuring out what theme she wants and what related activities we’ll have at the party. As she grows up, it becomes more difficult to figure this out, especially as she enters the tween years. I mean is playing some kind of game where you have to pin some missing part on some cartoon character, just too baby-ish for a double-digit girl? Or will she miss it if we don’t play that kind of game? We always have some arts and craft activity. Will I have a bunch of 10 year old girls look at my arts and crafts plan and sneer, “that’s soooo kindergarten.”
I’m learning that having a tween means walking a fine line between too young or too grown. It means practicing the art of balance. That is, balancing between what she wants and what Mom is willing to do. She wanted to have a beach party, Mom is not willing to put in the extra work it will entail organizing all the guests to arrive at the beach location, scope out the one picnic table at the small local beach, and deal with the sand that will inevitably get on everything. So no beach party this year. She wanted a sleep over, Mom is not willing yet to deal with the responsibility of having other peoples children stay overnight in our household, nor dealing with keeping a bunch of little girls entertained till all hours of the night. So no sleep over party just yet.
Our compromise, Pop Star theme. She can have her friends over playing Sing It on the Wii. This will replace our pin the mic on the pop star game. We’ll still do an arts and crafts game where each child will make her own microphone. Which means I better get going on buying all the necessary supplies. And I have agreed to buy a star shaped piñata. Most important part of this plan, is that she agreed to it and is excited about it. And at the end of the day all that will really matter, is that the birthday girl had a fun time with her friends.
by Elizabeth on August 31, 2010
Yesterday was Lina’s first day of school. Back to 6 a.m. wake-up calls. Back to heavy book bags and school supplies. Back to remembering which day is gym day, which day is library day. Back to waiting for the school bus. So many aspects of the beginning of the school year are pretty similar each year. Still there are those little things that mark the difference between fourth grade and fifth grade, 9 and 10 years of age.
While we took all of our traditional pictures as we waited for the school bus, this time, as the bus approached, she said to me “You’re not taking a picture of me while I’m getting on the bus, in front of everybody, are you?,” with some alarm in the tone of her voice. ”No, of course not,” I said, while internally I cringed at the obvious terror in her eyes that God forbid, I should do anything that might be an embarrassment to her. A certain sign of change is when your child goes from loving every bit of attention you give them, to placing limits within which your attention is allowed to be given and expressed. I watched her get on the bus, walked away, but just as the bus began to move, I turned around quickly and took a picture of the bus moving away. Another sign of change, when the mother has to become sneaky in order to continue to be connected to her child’s everyday life.
At the end of the day, we were back to our routine. Back to after school pick-ups. Back to homework, back to sharing about her day at school. But as much as she may look forward to changes with each school year, there are still powers that be that can decide that certain changes just won’t happen. A big change between fourth grade and fifth grade which she was looking forward to was sitting with whomever she wanted to during lunch time, instead of having to sit with your class. She was ecstatic because even though a number of her close friends were not going to be in her class, she was relieved that during lunch she would still be able to sit with them. But alas, the school principals had other plans, as she announced dismayed that “they changed the rule, Mama!” She still has to sit with her class during the lunch break which this year means sitting pretty much by herself until she hopefully develops closer friendships with the girls in her class.
No matter how quickly she may want her life to change as she continues to grow up, she still has to accept the pace at which that change happens since it isn’t always in her control. And that slower pace of change is just fine with this Mommy.
Lina’s birthday is coming soon and I’m stressing. Every year it’s a chore figuring out what theme she wants and what related activities we’ll have at the party. As she grows up, it becomes more difficult to figure this out, especially as she enters the tween years. I mean is playing some kind of game where you have to pin some missing part on some cartoon character, just too baby-ish for a double-digit girl? Or will she miss it if we don’t play that kind of game? We always have some arts and craft activity. Will I have a bunch of 10 year old girls look at my arts and crafts plan and sneer, “that’s soooo kindergarten.”
